Untitled #2

I’m a ghost. 

A vapor. 

See through. Paper thin. 

I’m looking for something. 

For someone. 

For something to heal the wound within. I’m staring at a girl in a glass box. Staring at her distorted face: she’s screaming But no one can hear the sound. And she won’t let me in She can’t . 

Trapped in her pain. 

But I can’t feel it. 

I feel helpless. 

I feel nothing. The girl is me. The me trapped inside of me. I want to save her. I can’t. I just watch. Watch her body twist in pain, her face contort as she is tortured. Poor soul. And I feel helpless. I feel nothing I’m drowning. 

Drowning in this sea of uncried tears. Slow-sinking. Sinking in to the depths of me. Somebody save me from myself. I am the antagonist in this story. Trying to protect me from me. Trying to protect you from me. I’m dying. 

Quiet agony. 

I would much rather be dead. At least then there would be some kind of finality. Rigor mortise. I’m cold to the touch. 

So close my eyes now. With 2 coins for the ferry. And burn me up. Ashes and bitter sweet memory.