Whole heart, broken body

So I’ve been thinking on this concept that I’ve spoken of before: Brokenness. My thoughts started with something a friend of mine recently said while sharing at a youth camp. Side note: who would think I would be friends with the caliber of people who get asked to speak in to the lives of the next generation. Anyway, so my friend said this one thing that I think resounds so true. She said that having mental illness does not mean you are broken. You are a whole person, mental illness or not. I must admit that I have been a bit absorbed by this topic of brokenness since I started this blog. Confession time: I may actually have been promoting a message of brokenness. For clarity I’m going to try and share a bit of a “still unfolding” revelation on this topic. Firstly, and this may be obvious, I have personally been struggling for many years with this feeling of brokenness. I think my over highlighting this topic stems from a journey of vulnerability I’ve been taking for the past few years. Now, mind you, when I decided to blog I also decided to navigate some areas of my life very publicly. I think I’m still learning the responsibilities I must honor with regards to that decision. I’m still learning wisdom and boundaries. So I have over-shared. This has highlighted to me how inward focused I have been. Introspection is ok, however, like all things, there needs to be boundaries. Secondly I still think some of the revelation on brokenness and how God can use it for His Glory has truth to it. It’s just not the complete truth. In a way, focusing only on the fact that God can use my brokenness has led me to negate the restorative work of the Cross. It negates the Gospel. Jesus died on the Cross not just as a sacrifice for our sins but the PERFECT sacrifice. On the cross He said it IS finished not it will be finished. The gospel also doesn’t end with Jesus dying on The Cross. The resurrection says that Jesus didn’t just atone for our sins by dying on The Cross but also has raised us to new life as He was raised from the grave. In Christ we are a new creation. So if I am solely focused on my brokenness I am saying that I am not a new creation. In my view it’s like saying that God restored a broken pot with super glue instead of saying God created a new completely whole pot, better than the original. Ok so now if you are like me you are asking: why do I still sin then. Why is the world so broken then. Well I’ve thought about this as well. The concept of new creation. Some things are above what I can explain. Firstly God obviously has something He is doing on earth, even if most times we don’t understand it. Secondly our flesh is what is living on earth but it is not only our flesh. We have a spirit man and a flesh man. According to what I understand from scripture. So the flesh man is fallen and we were born in to that. The Spirit man however is what I believe becomes the new creation when we confess with our mouths and believe in our hearts that Jesus is Lord. So we live in tension here on earth. Flesh man: fallen, Spirit man: new creation. Both fighting for rule over our hearts and minds. I believe that our spirit man is our true being, who we really are. And so I’m kind of saying that we are both broken and not broken at the same time. My belief is that the Truth is actually that we are whole (Spirit man) living in broken (flesh man). A few days after I wrote this Hillsong United dropped the song “Whole Heart” (Ps I’m already excited about the new album). So I’d like to end off with some lyrics that struck me: “Once I was broken But You loved my whole heart through Sin has no hold on me ‘Cause Your grace holds me now Healed and forgiven Look where my chains are now Death has no hold on me ‘Cause Your grace holds that ground And Your grace holds me now” If you’re struggling as I do with the tension of being made new in Christ but still living in this world, breathe and trust that God is not shocked at your confusion. He isn’t thrown by your doubt. Bring Your doubts to Him and He will draw you close. The closest I’ve been to God is in my journey of doubt. I promise He will hold you through it all. Light and Love Doe