Self love: I don't think it means what you think it means

Or you know what maybe it does but then I am starting to feel like we need to redefine it. It's the hot-topic of the day and you can literally look up thousands of self love quotes on tumblr. It was birthed from a generation who refuse to look for love from others and decided to rather be love for themselves. Which in itself doesn't sound like a bad thing at all, right? The thing is that I've started to notice that society is getting a bit absorbed by the concept of self. We are islands happy to exist in the same ocean but not really keen to share the same land. I don't know; maybe I'm at the adult equivocant of 2-5 year olds : you know the "why" phase. And so I question EVERYTHING. Coming in to my mid twenties I started to realise that you can't take anything as "bible" except the actual BIBLE : and even then we can fall short in our interpretation (more on the importance of context some other time)

So I weigh everything up against The Word that I accept as complete truth. So, much to some of your outrage, I don't find Jesus speaking too much on self love, self esteem, acceptance of self. Look I am no biblical scholar and although I would love to say I am an avid reader, the Bible is not really light reading. What I do know for myself is that I have broken it down to 1 thing with 2 sub headings: Love; God and people. Matthew 22v 36 - 40 “Teacher, which commandment is the greatest in the Law?” Jesus declared, “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’ This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ All the Law and the Prophets depend on these two commandments.” Look I know, I get it. Jesus is so contrary to the world we live in right now. He is out here saying first, above all else: Love God. Then He says love people ( PS your neighbour is everybody: he also clarifies that ) and he does not even say love yourself it's kind of just a sub- note at the end. "As yourself" See I struggled with self esteem and most people get it wrong and equate that with humility. I know I did. Until one day I realised all I was doing was putting the focus on my self. In truth I was being negative towards myself with the tiny underlying hope that someone would prove me wrong. That someone would see my worth and love me. See self-love is not the revolutionary concept the world is making it out to be: not in the way it is defined: "regard for one's own well being and happiness." As humans that is built in, even at my lowest point of hating myself I actually did want my own happiness and well being: in fact at that point it is what consumed me. Jesus here is not saying: don't love yourself; He is just showing us a much better way to do it. What if the trick to true self- love is not firstly or solely about "Self". What if by loving God with our entire being and then from that overflow loving people we actually develop a true, pure love for our own selves. Apparently scientists somewhere have found that people who do acts of kindness for others are happier and more content. What if that is what Jesus was trying to show us. What if love is made to give and the more you give out of yourself the more you keep being filled. I'm not trying to bash anyone who is on a self love journey. I have been on one for most of my life. I'm just starting to learn that I don't have to have the same opinions or agree with the world. Maybe, if anything, this post can help you realise that too. Maybe in your journey for self love, maybe in the midst of your brokenness : You can love the world back to life. You can give when you are empty. And just maybe in taking your eyes off of yourself; your soul will find what it is looking for. Love Doe