In the midst of the wreckage

So today I flooded my kitchen. Winning. Clearly I don’t have this adulting thing all figured out. Honestly it was pretty much the last straw. I’ve been dealing with strange symptoms from my chronic illnesses which include but are not limited to numbness of my legs, pressure in my pelvic area and sleeping problems. I do not need life to be like this right now!

Ok rant over, on with the story. What happened was the outlet pipe of my washing machine; which is two pipes connected in the middle, came apart while I was doing a load of washing. Anyway, I obviously had to deal with this mess which was made worse by the fact that our cupboards are being redone and there is a big empty space under one of the cupboards where all the water gathered. It was chaos, water and wood chippings everywhere. As I started to try and figure out where to start sorting out this mess I felt God speak to me. He started teaching and showing me a few things about life and storms and heart issues. The messy kitchen floor was a metaphor for my life, its challenges and how I deal with them. (I know right: God shows up in weird moments and always using metaphors)

1. When I discovered this mess I had a choice. I could not reverse time and take back what happened, BUT I had a choice in how I was going to respond. I could have collapsed in that mess and gave up. I could have waited for someone else to deal with it. I could have beaten myself up about it. Even though I felt like it, I did not do these things (maybe the last one a little). What I did was : I firstly accepted that it was a mess and it would be difficult and secondly I started doing something about it.

2. My life was like this flooded kitchen, my heart was like it. It’s overwhelming. It will take hard work, discipline and diligence to sort such a mess out. I needed to get on my knees in icey cold water and with wood chips piercing my skin to start cleaning it all up. It was not pretty, it was not easy and it was very uncomfortable and, yes, painful. The cleaning is unpleasant but absolutely necessary. This has been a lot of my experience on this journey of God preparing me for my purpose.

3. Some things can’t be fixed they must be replaced. My tattered heart was not just fixed or patched up by God but he gave me a new one. Just like the water-damaged chip wood,my heart was bent out of shape and not able to be used or useful. God is so faithful; he gives us a new heart… a free gift

4. Often the mess or the damage from it needs an expert. The first thing I did was tell the contractor doing our cupboards about what had happened as he is coming tomorrow to work on them. I needed his advice on what I should do; in the end all I could do was try and absorb as much water as I could. He would have to come and remove the damaged wood and fix the rest himself. Your broken heart friend cannot be fixed by your efforts alone; neither can your broken lives, bad habits or addictions etc. You definitely have a role to play, as do professional counsellors. Ultimately complete healing and transformation can only come in relationship and collaboration with God. This has been the truth for me, anyway

So there you have it: lessons learned in the midst of the wreckage.

I hope it blesses you

Doe